Melancholic Nostalgia

I’ve just finished another chapter in my story, at 7949 words, it’s a good length. After finishing the previous chapter my inspiration failed to die down as fast, so I went on and produced the above.

However, for the first time since beginning my writing in 2001, I wrote a scene which I have never done before, one involving themes of a sexual nature.

Truthfully, it was just a bit of heavy petting, and no actual sex, but it was tough writing it and keeping the people within character.

The two female characters that is.

ranma both male and femaleWell, one was Ranma, who as you know turns into a girl when doused with cold water which resulted in many hijinks ensuing, too many to list here, just read all 38 volumes of the manga online if you’re interested.

So, I had to upgrade my story rating from T to M, which according to ff.net is as follows:

T – Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes.

M – Not suitable for children or teens below the age of 16 with non-explicit suggestive adult themes, references to some violence, or coarse language.
Fiction M can contain adult language, themes and suggestions.

The following line under M was confusing me totally.

‘Detailed descriptions of physical interaction of sexual or violent nature is considered Fiction MA.’ This rating is not allowed on this site at all.

Now, is the vague suggestion of stimulating the breasts considered detailed enough, especially when I was being purposely discrete when writing about the movements?

I’ve written some truly horrific things, violent, gorey, mutilation and not all of them resulted in death, which would imply quite a bit of torture.

And I labelled them as T rated.

The reason why is simple, fanfiction.net automatically displays all rating up to and including T, meaning more visibility. To see the M category, you need to select all ratings, which the majority of people do not. Case in point, my previous M fic has a considerably lower number of viewers than others in the same section.

Laziness affects readers in many ways, so I choose the T for them to see such stories easier, and by getting a portion of these readers to leave me reviews, which are always appreciated.

Since the site is located in the USA, I erred on the side of caution and selected M. I’ve never been reported before for the vicious stuff I’ve written, but when it comes to anything vaguely alluring or sensual, I had to pause. Not because I didn’t know how to write it, this isn’t any Shades of Grey level here, but simply the thought that I was going too far. Could it be rated MA?

There has always been this strange aversion to sex there, whereas violence is much more accepted. People have said this may be due to the religious values of chastity and virginity, though I’m pretty certain the Bible doesn’t tolerate violence either. Some people have done studies, though not all are ‘official’. There are presumably many more links which may or may not be biased.

Somehow, displaying acts of violence is much more prevalent in media, Hollywood movies display it with ease, and we now imagine that a bullet wound to the shoulder is barely noticed.

A glass broke yesterday (thank you cat) and I stepped on a glass splinter, and that was a lot of hurt right there. Blood trailing down my foot too. I healed quickly, but it made me wonder if all these years of watching such movies and playing games have desensitised me (though obviously not physically) as to how much pain a single cut can cause, let alone a hail of bullets.

The things I have written, I hold no shame in them, but looking back at the scenes, I begin to wonder about my sanity. Examples include slicing limbs off, having said limb be devoured by a monster, incinerating people alive, slicing someone’s eyes out, decapitation, impaling through the heart, and cannibalism.

Worst of all these, having someone’s body disassembled totally, but leaving them alive to experience the pain of death, without being given that privilege.

And yet, this was considered fine to readers of a Teenage level.

In the end, it doesn’t really affect me, so long as I can continue to write without impunity, and anything sexy I put in that ‘forbidden’ category.

In other news, the Doctor Who season has ended until the Christmas special. This has to be the most emotional departure of the companions in any of the new series, even more than Rose or Donna.

This time, two people left in the most final way possible, flung back into a time period which the Doctor could not rescue them from. Amy and Rory first committed suicide first to avert a horrid future for Rory, stuck in a room for decades only to die, by jumping off that same building to their deaths.

Rewriting that future, they return to our time and we think everything is safe, until Rory notices a grave with his name of it. The last Weeping Angel sends him back to the same time period, and the Doctor notes he died alone at 82. Not wanting him to be alone, Amy walks to the Angel and says goodbye to the Doctor and her child, hoping she will join with Rory in the past.

After being taken away, the gravestone is updated with her name on there and age of 87.

Suffice it to say, this was heart breaking, and the music was probably the best Murray Gold has written for the emotional departures, so many strings, trumpets and a soothing voice.

Perhaps it was the simple fact that the music was so powerful which enhanced the acting to levels above that of a normal show. Moffat wrote a beautiful script, and evoked so much sadness and loss, something that I’m not certain I have reached the levels of, despite what some reviewers have said.

There is still much more to learn in this world.


One Response to “The Difference between Sex and Violence”

  1. Tbwulf

    I’m not sure if you’ll read this, as this post is roughly half a year old, but I’ve recently stumbled upon this fanfiction site that’s currently in beta called Archive of Our Own(AO3) that’s really well put together that’s a lot more lenient on the type of content you can post to it. I’d suggest taking a look at it as an alternative if FF.net ever decides to boot your fic, or even just as a second place to post it. From my usage of that site over the last week and change, I’ve found that I much prefer the way AO3 works over that of FF.net. And I’ve used “That’s” too many times in this comment, and rather than taking the time to rephrase it, I’ll just comment on it.

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